Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Probably the most recognizable side effect of chemotherapy Is hair loss. The reason this happens is that, like the cells in the gut, hair follicles are among the few cells in the body that naturally divide rapidly. The chemo drugs work their magic on them as well as the cancer cells.

I’m told that I can reliably expect my head to start tingling in the next day or two –to feel as though the hair is in a ponytail and being pulled too tight. (Secretly, I think this must be cosmic retribution for all the times my young dancers screamed that I was pulling too much in trying to give them the perfect performance bun.) By Friday, I will probably wake up to find hair on my pillow. When I wash or brush my hair, more will come out – not occasional strands, but in clumps.

I am also told that no matter how prepared you think you are, it will come as a huge and upsetting shock. This I believe.

Some women shave at the first signs; others enjoy their natural hair as long as possible. I’m putting off the decision. Chemo nurse Connie says that most likely I won’t lose all my hair after this first cycle, just some of it. So I think I will wait and see what I look like before deciding what to do.

On the practical side, I’m armed with an initial supply of hats, caps, and scarves. Several weeks ago, cousin Sandy took the initiative to whip up a few caps on spec, somehow finding styles and colors that suit me beautifully even though we don’t see each other often. Sister Ellen located an online purveyor, whose extensive collection my mom, Caroline, and I surveyed and from which we selected several nice patterned scarves and more prosaic and practical cotton-jersey doo-rags. Caroline bought me a boldly patterned sun hat. And today, friend Jane and I are picking out fabrics from which she will whip up yet more caps.

I don’t figure I’m a wig kind of gal. At the moment, that feels like hiding to me, and I kind of want people to know my situation. Knowing that my feelings could change – or that a special occasion could call for one – I took the precaution of visiting the wig store while I still have my own hair, so the stylist could match the style and color. (So sorry to those of you hoping I would recast my identity and go blond or punk!) This information stays on file at the store should the need arise.