"Things That Suck" for $200, Alex

In this blog I’ve sometimes been a little Pollyanna-ish. Oh, I’ve never echoed her directly and said how glad I was. But I’ve certainly alluded to some of the good things that have come about as a result of my illness.

Today I’m going to be plain (and I apologize if my vernacular offends some of my older readers): this sucks.

Here are some of the things that suck, in no particular order. Be aware that not all of them obtain all the time. Many of them only apply to a few days at the start of each chemo cycle. But when they suck, they really suck.

• Having my life turned upside down without warning
• Needing a rest after reading for 15 minutes
• Feeling fuzzy-headed, literally; as though my head is stuffed with cotton
• Taking handfuls of pills each day
• Intraperitoneal chemotherapy
• Chemotherapy, period
• Not running
• Cutting workouts short because I feel ill
• Maybe never knowing my grandchildren
• Lacking ambition to do simple things
• Only being able to accomplish simple things
• Acid stomach
• Having a tube protruding from my belly
• Weekly blood draws
• Thinning hair (but at least I still have some)
• Not knowing when the rest will fall out
• Uncertainty in general
• All my hard-earned fitness melting away
• Falling blood counts that make me feel shaky
• Hot flashes
• Achy bones in my legs
• Difficulty sleeping
• Needing to rely on David and friends for so much