Feeling What We Think

For some time I've been interested in the interplay between cognition and emotion. As a teacher, I see that kids need to be, as we say in the trade, "available for learning". That means that, at a minimum, their mindset has to be open to taking in new information and working with it; they can't be distracted by emotions that are flooding their senses and using up energy. Optimally, they are motivated to engage in cognitive tasks by positive emotions. As my friend and mentor says, "People do better when they feel better."

In my personal life, I've come to believe in the ideas associated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is based on the idea that most behavioral and emotional reactions are learned, and, in particular, that thoughts influence feelings and behaviors as much as, or more than, external events. If a person wants to change how they feel about a situation, a useful step is to change how they think about the situation. CBT helps people achieve their own goals by showing them how to unlearn unwanted reactions, to seek and apply information that might have gone unnoticed, and to develop new, more accurate (and less upsetting) perspectives on the reality of the situation.

Why do I bring this up? Because I've been watching this play out in real time in my own life. It's kind of fascinating.

Lately, I've been falling into the mindset that "they", i.e. my medical team, are "doing" things to me -- things that are unpleasant and assaultive. In the past year I've undergone surgery and chemo, and there's radiation therapy yet to come. As a by product, I've had to start taking blood thinners. These treatments have left me debilitated and scarred and annoyed. They have wreaked havoc on my quality of life. If it weren't for "them", I'd have my old life and body back.

Ah, but that is incorrect thinking, no?

Yes, "they" are doing these things to me -- because they are trying to help me. It's important to add that piece in. They are actually doing these things for me, because I have asked them to use their expertise to treat the cancer. It's unfortunate that at this point in time the only ways "we" know how to do that involve bodily discomfort and provoke significant side effects.

Adding in this piece of information significantly changes how I feel about everything. When "they" are doing this to me, I'm inclined to rage. When I remember their motivation, and reflect that science has only taken us so far, I'm calmer and more accepting. I might yearn for it to be otherwise, but I'm not angry or irritated or annoyed. Frankly, it feels a lot better this way. Life is too short to spend it feeling upset and stressed.

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Tooth update: The oral surgeon eased it out Friday. As often happens, the administration of the local anesthetic was the most painful part. I didn't even know when the tooth came out! Since then it has behaved nicely, and doesn't hurt at all now.