What a Long Strange Drip It's Been

Apologies for not posting in the past few days. Partly, this cycle has felt particularly brutal and I haven't had much energy until recently, and partly, every time I contemplated what I wanted to show and say I experienced what we might call acute paroxysmal nausea. That is, I had the immediate urge to vomit, and sometimes did. Even while on heavy-duty anti-nausea meds.

It has truly been a long, strange drip. Remember back to last July, when I was perky and everything about chemo seemed fresh and new? Man, that was a long time ago. What a neophyte I was!

This past Friday, on the very last day of treatment, did I celebrate? Did I joke with my nurse? Was I lighthearted and excited? Nope. I answered all of Marissa's standard questions (What meds have you taken today? How's your energy? Any pain? Do you have diarrhea or constipation? When was your last bowel movement? Any nausea? Numbness or tingling in your hands or feet? etc).

And then I did this.

I dropped off immediately, and did not wake up until it was time to rock 'n' roll, i.e. spend 15 minutes on each side, front, and back to distribute the chemicals. I wasn't aware of Marissa attaching any drips to my catheter; I wasn't aware of her changing my dressing; I wasn't aware of her disconnecting the drips. I wasn't aware of anything.

I marvel sometimes at the body and mind's ability to protect themselves. Feeling overwhelmed? Just shut down. Shut everything out.

This is what was flowing in while I was asleep:

But now it's well and truly over. How do I know? Because ... the catheter going into my belly is gone!!!!!!!!! It got pulled on Wednesday. And I do mean pulled. Tugged. Yanked. What a strange feeling! And yes, kind of painful, but completely tolerable. To my surprise, there's almost no wound; the skin surrounding the tube closed up immediately. No care is required. I can shower and bathe and swim at whim. Ahhhhh. The best part is, I never, ever, ever have to do this kind of chemo again.